Thursday, November 19, 2009

You Know You're From Belfast When....

1. You’re never cold, but sometimes baltic.

2. The sight of 12 year olds smoking is normal.

3. Castle Court - the traditional and best - is well better than that Victoria Square place.

4. You have owned a pair of Nike Air Max at some stage.

5. You will fight anyone who claims Callum Best's da wasn't the best footballer EVER.

6. You know what real rain is like.

7. You think if you can't see the Harland and Wolfe cranes from your bedroom window, you’re a culchie.

8. You end sentences with ‘So it is’.

9. You use the word 'sweet' and 'powerful' as a substitute for almost any adjective.

10. You know what the words 'space-cadet' and 'rocket' really mean.

11. You cringe when you hear someone from your city speak on national TV.

12. You know at least one person called Mackers.

13. Your granny had a framed picture of the Pope or the Queen in the living room.

14. Jim McDonald from Coronation Street and Eamonn Holmes embarrass you.

15. The most common phrase used when you are slightly surprised at something is 'Here's me wha!?'

16. You can tell what religion somebody is by the side of the road they walk on.

17. You have used the phrase ‘will you see my mate’.

18. Anyone who doesn't have a 1 back and sides is a hippy.

19. You know what a steek is.

20. You have a mild addiction to pastie baps.

21. You have at least one ginger mate.

22. You have at some point slegged someone for wearing two-striper trackie bottoms.

23. Some millie you have annoyed has said ‘Oh mummy! What are you like?’
24. Every day you call at least one person a 'melter'.

25. You have been in some sort of riot.

26. If you want to buy something semi-legal like a dope pipe or martial arts weapons you go to Smithfield market.

27. You knock on your mate’s window instead of the front door.

28. You hear you Da say 'see her I married, she'd put your head away!'

29. You can shout yeooooooooooo louder and longer than any of your non-Belfast mates.

30. Your Granny's hobby is homophobia.

31. You say 'You know what it is' at the start of a sentence when you are annoyed.

32. You have had your school blazer pocket picked from your during PE.

33. You are not interested in the Derry/Londonderry debate because you know it is just a pokey wee village.

34. You’ve mistaken a Ballymena person for a Scot.

35. You’re divorced from your wife, but she’s still your cousin.

36. Your ma says ‘Do you think I came up the Lagan in a bubble?’

37. You know what 9033 3333 is the number for.

38. When you’re in a foreign country, you’re afeard to death of a hurricane but know what to do when a bomb goes off.

39. You remember getting Frosties, Opal Fruits and Lick ‘n’ Dips from the corner shop.

40. You’ve heard ‘I’ll put my toe up your hole’ when you trespassed someone’s garden.

41. You’ve always wondered what Sonya Mac looks like.

42. Your face is your bake.

43. Your feet are your kebs.

44. You went ‘on the beak’ from secondary school.

45. You had a fake name and address for when you were stopped by the peters.

46. You can think of 20 words for being drunk, without even trying.

47. A feg’s a cigarette and a fag’s a bender.

48. You have owned a pair of Adidas poppers.

49. You’re throwing up a dodgy kebab in the Odyssey while watching the PSNI break up a fight.

50. You’ve said on the phone ‘I’ll meet ya at the front of Primark’.


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