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Coping.org Tools for Coping with Life's Stressors


Acting Out Personality

Content:

* Appearance to the world of the acting out personality
* Feelings inside persons with the acting out personality traits
* Negative consequences of acting out behaviors
* Irrational beliefs of people with the acting out personality traits
* Turning negative acting out traits into positive potential


Appearance to the world of the acting out personality

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The "scapegoat'' of the environment
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Irresponsible
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Troublemakers at home, work, school, or community
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Get into a lot of mischief
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Runaways
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Drug or alcohol problems
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Delinquent or pre-delinquent behavior
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Brushes with legal authority
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Rebellious against any type of authority figure
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Do not take direction easily
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Goof off people
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Bring disgrace to family, fellow workers, friends, or self
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Lack tolerance for others
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Poor achievement record
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Angry, hostile, or belligerent
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Fail at school or work
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Sexually promiscuous, unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases
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Unwilling to abide by rules or codes of conduct
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Prone to use a self-destructive behavior pattern
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Lack of worth to the system, organization, family unit
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Sullen and uncooperative
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Bombastic, mouthy, caustic
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Shallow, self-centered, manipulative, exploitive

Feelings inside persons with the acting out personality traits

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Lack freedom to vent frustration directly onto its source
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Emotional withdrawal from problem situations, e.g., family, job, peer interactions
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Dependence on others to fill unsatisfied need for belonging to a family or unit
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Starved for attention from those in their lives who have problems
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Lots of bottled up emotions; need for acceptance, belonging, being wanted and cared for
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Jealous and irritated at all the attention others get in family, school, job, or with friends
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Sense of being neglected, ignored, or unwanted
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Sense of no emotional support from their enviornment
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Intense need for love and intimacy
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Unwilling to use "achievement tactics'' to gain others' love, attention, and respect
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Self hatred for not being "good enough'' to gain unconditional acceptance from others
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Intense sense of rejection and loneliness
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Intense hurt
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Consumed with anger:
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at parents for not caring
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at the person in their life who has the real major problem
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at the looking good types for hiding and denying the problem
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at the world for accepting their behavior as "real''
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at selves that brought them to their current problem state

Negative consequences of acting out behaviors

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Low self-esteem
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Excesses can lead to poor nutrition and poor health
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Involvement in hazardous exploits and accidents
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Self-destructive consequences in school, job, family, community
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Suicide: accidental or intentional
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Alcoholism or chemical dependency
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Heavy sense of guilt for personal negative behavior traits
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Self loathing and self hatred
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Shallow relationships with others with few deep, caring friendships
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Lack of trust in others
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Problem in showing love for others
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Peer group becomes primary reference or system for their involvement in life
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Anger increases rather than decreases
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Poor development of intimate, cooperative, or loving relationships with others
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Violation of accepted standards of behavior at home, school, work, or in the community
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Use of emotional defenses of rationalizing, noisy argumentation, etc.
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Provides troubled persons with a chance to get focus away from themselves and onto the acting out person

Irrational beliefs of people with the acting out personality traits

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No one is ever willing to admit how screwed up this environment really is.
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There is no sense in trying to make it work in this environment since no one else is willing to work on the problems.
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The only sanity in my life is with my friends.
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No one is going to tell me how to live my life.
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There is nothing I can do to make things better.
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No one loves me.
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No one understands me.
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I will do anything to get the love I need.
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Life sucks!
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You have got to be a sucker or a wimp to go along with what they expect out of me.
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The only value that counts in life is to be yourself.
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Everyone is so dumb they can't see what's going on.
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The only thing that counts in life is power.
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Attack first before you get attacked.
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Don't ever let anyone take advantage of you.
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Everyone in authority is messed up so ignore them.
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There is no proof that hard work and effort pay off in the long run.
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Get out before they devour you.
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Don't trust anyone!
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Get everything you can grab because you won't be given anything.
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I don't have any dependencies or problems.

Turning negative acting out traits into positive potential
Negative Acting Out Behavior Positive Potential
Reliance on peers They can be helped to see that they are capable of being "real leaders'' if correctly channeled. They have an ability to interact freely in a variety of social settings.
Acting out They are capable of being healthy "risk takers'' if correctly channeled.
Defiance They are capable of seeing the "truth'' or "reality'' in a "corrupt'' or "sick'' system, e.g., family, school, job, or community organization. They can speak the truth, which others often do not want to hear.
Rebellious They challenge the status quo! They asks questions others are unwilling to ask or to face. They can help others to analyze the propriety of rules, customs, rights, and habits.
Withdrawn They are capable of pulling themselves out of a "sick'' situation so as not to be caught up in the disease themselves. They are capable of ignoring the games that keep people down in a system.
Mischief making They are capable of initiating lots of "fun'' or stress reducing activities for the system, which have a unique form and involve imagination and creativity.
Sullen Having experienced rejection, hurt, and pain, if channeled they can be sensitive to those who suffer similarly today. They can become excellent helpers due to their ability to tune into and be sensitive to others.
Argumentative and rationalizer They can be helped to channel their verbal prowess so as to be effective logisticians or debaters. They have good potential for being courtroom performers.
Irresponsible They need help recognizing that their behavior is a part of a compulsive pattern in a delusional system. Much of what appears to be irresponsible is a cry for help, which can result in the family system getting help for itself.
Nonproductive If channeled appropriately they can become a "change agent'' in family, school, job, or community, due to their sharp awareness of inequality and injustice. With help, they can use their willingness to speak out as catalysts for real changes for good in such systems.