Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Funny to an online poster, maybe to YOU, too!

Why Your Post was Stupid:
2, 3, 6, 6a, 8, 14

Numeric Key to Stupid Posts

1. You did not in any way discuss the topic, or say something relevant to the thread.
2. The silly slogan you are repeating came from a talk radio show, or from a bumper sticker, and was discredited within minutes of having been broadcast, or plastered on somebody's Toyota.
3. Silly name calling. You just spewed out a bunch of silly insults. Your post barely even makes sense.
4. You are trying to be serious, but you have a stupid screen name, which makes taking your post seriously very difficult.
5. Normally, grammar spelling and syntax problems don't matter, but yours was so bad, I had to say something. The sad thing is, English is probably your first language.
5b. All posts calling other people stupid that aren't in understandable English or aren't spelled correctly are so bizarre, you just have to wonder, especially when they misspell the dirty words.
5c. Your post used English in such a convoluted way, I had to chuckle.
5d. There seemed to be more punctuation marks in your post than actual words.
6. You appear to be someone living a trailer house with a goat, or someone living in a shack in rural Montana, writing a "manifesto."
6a. That was a paranoid/schizoprenic rant. The bizarre assumptions and leaps of demi-logic were amazing. As a precaution, I suggest you place a tinfoil hat on your head to prevent aliens or the secret police from reading your thoughts.
7. Your post was just copied in from some web site or other place. If you can't write your own stuff, just give up.
8. About the thousandth time someone repeats that, you should find a new thing to say.
9. All posts blaming something on Bill Clinton or deflecting attention to Bill Clinton should be deleted, and the writer forced to read his latest book aloud to a VFW convention.
9b. While we're at it, let's include Hillary. If you take issue with something she's done, that's one thing, but if you're mentioning Hillary just to mention Hillary, you should be forced to wear a tie-dyed sweatsuit, and to read "It Takes A Village" to a Baptist church group in rural Mississippi.
10. Any posts mentioning Ted Kennedy, or Richard Nixon, are just as bad as the stuff about Clinton.
11. Any posts blaming the media or specific "news" outlets are too paranoid and foolish to even consider. You should be locked in a room and forced to listen to a "debate" between Al Franken and Bill O'Reily until you soil your undergaments.
11a. Posts blaming the host of the message board specifically should be made to stand naked in the street with a sandwich board advertising the provider.
11b. Anyone who quotes "Fox News" as a source should be smeared with bacon fat and thrown into a pit of angry wolves.
12. Your recall of history is so far from factual, that anyone who made it through the eighth grade is laughing at you.
13. You keep posting that over and over. That's just spam at this point.
14. Your logic is so convoluted, you could write advertising copy for miracle diet plans.
15. The racism, ethnocentrism, or other form of social hatred of your post is so extreme, that you should seek some kind of anger management or other therapy.
17. ME TOO. I AGREE. People who say ME TOO are all idiots who cannot think for themselves.
18. As nearly as I can tell, you didn't actually say anything.
19. You have so many links, signature text, and other bunk in your post, I don't know what your response actually was.
20. BIG FONT PEOPLE -- The BIGGER THE FONT, the CLOSER TO GOD? What's that all about?
21. The person you attempt to discredit has achieved a stature, or earned a level of general respect of such magnitude that you only look foolish when you try to discredit them.
22. Crackpot web site references: You have included links to web sites so nutty and without credibility that you must be kidding, but you're probably not kidding.
23. Your claim to some kind of military service, past or present, or to have relatives that did no more makes you an expert on a subject than throwing a newspaper on your lawn makes the paper boy an expert on current events.
24. Phony patriotism -- Anybody can type "God Bless America" and use red and blue text. Nobody owns a franchise on love of country. Put the flag on your porch and get over it.


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